How to resolve conflict efficiently

Conflict in the workplace is, as in any other context which involves other people, inevitable. This is why you need to expect conflicts to happen at some point and, when they do, be able to do something about them.

Conflicts can be seen as either destructive or as great learning opportunities.  It’s up to you how you choose to regard them, and your view and attitude can strongly influence the outcome of a conflict. Here are a few quick tips that can help you better manage a workplace conflict:

1. Be realistic! If you truly want to solve a conflict, you need to accept the fact that you can’t ‘win’ it. Winning a conflict means reaching a one-sided solution, which will only lead to the conflict manifesting itself again in the future, as well as in stress, tension, and inefficiency within the team.

2. Be prompt! The sooner you resolve a conflict, the better. Things only worsen with time.

3. Make the first step! Many people treat conflict like a waiting game. If both parties employ that strategy, then the conflict can drag on far too long for comfort. Don’t fall into that trap – make the first step by inviting that other person to meet you for a coffee or a walk somewhere where you can talk about your issues.

4.  Use facts when stating the problem! When describing the problem as you see it, use facts: someone doesn’t say hello to you anymore, or avoids you, instead of assuming what’s behind that behavior – like saying that he or she doesn’t respect you anymore.

5. Apologize! Each side played a part in the conflict, so both side should apologize to the other. Taking responsibility for your actions or inactions is not the same thing as admitting you’re to be blamed about the conflict. It’s just a way in which you acknowledge it wasn’t entirely the other person’s fault either.

The way in which you resolve conflicts can help you repair and strengthen bonds, and become a better communicator. In the end, you’ll find that most people only want to have their side of the story heard, and to feel understood.


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The one thing I have learned from Barack Obama: Change the conversation

I want you to close your eyes. Inhale deep and slow. Now exhale. Do this two more times. Inhale. Exhale. Feel the weight of your stresses and bad memories. Let yourself experience the sensation of all that you carry within you. Now inhale again, and exhale very slowly. Repeat, but as you exhale, imagine those memories and all that stress sliding away. Let the ocean of change take them away on waves of hope. Feel the weight fall away, the stress dissipate. Let the dark cloud hanging over you pass. Let yourself breathe free and easy. Now, open your eyes. Feel the sun on your face and trust me when I say that today is going to be a good day. Believe in change, and let the hope fill you as you take your first steps into this new day.

Love him or hate him, Barack Obama is one of the most influential people of this new century. The 44th President of the United States and the recipient of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize Obama’s rhetoric has consistently been one of change and growth. Before being elected, he taught constitutional law, was an Illinois Senator, and was an active community organiser. He came into office during the peak of the global recession, and he promised change repeatedly to secure his position at the helm of the US government. Though divisive and often obstructed by opposition within the US government, he has had a powerful and far-reaching influence on the world.

Change. This word appeared over and over in Obama’s campaign and then during his first couple years in office. We all know what change means, but why was it such a powerful word at that time, and why was it so effective? How did Obama change the US and the world outside of it?

The world is not a fundamentally different place because a president from one country promised a change. What mattered about Obama when he was rising the political ranks is that he filled us with hope. Coming off of the imperialistic tenure of George W Bush and the growing income inequality across the globe, as well as the financial crash, Obama’s words made people around the world believe that the future would be different. He made us believe that the world was open to us, that the future could be whatever we wanted it to be. He inspired us, people all over the world, to dare to dream of a world that could be better than the one we grew up with.

We identified with Barack Obama. Whether you’re white, black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American, people across the US felt that, finally, someone was going to respond to their concerns and interests. People across the globe, from Europe to Africa to East Asia saw a US President less caught in jingoistic notions. They saw a reasonable person leading a very powerful and volatile country, and they celebrated.

It felt and looked like change.

So why was change such an effective promise? It’s all about context here, and the global view of the US in 2008 after eight years of George W Bush, was less than favorable. Two divisive wars, growing wealth gap, failed policies–Bush was seen as a disaster. Barack Obama appeared as a man in complete contrast to George W Bush, and he marketed himself in that way. He wasn’t just another rich white American man. He was African American. He grew up poor. He came from a single parent household. He was, in all reality, a man like so many of us. He reminded us of the changing shape of civilisation, of the US. His promises for a new world came at the perfect time and we believed because he was so likeable, so earnest, so kind and enthusiastic. He was funny when he needed to be, and hard and serious when necessary.

Whether you’re a fan of his presidency or not, there’s no denying the way he’s influenced global politics and the way young people engage in the political system. He was a politician for the next wave of voters. He seemed cool, even. We wanted to be friends with him, and so we believed in him. We still do.

And it comes back to change. This is an effective strategy in transforming a conversation. Most people are dissatisfied with some aspect of their life, whether it be financially or personally or in their career. People will always have problems and they’ll always want to escape those problems. So give them something to believe in. Give them hope and change. If someone’s in a bad relationship, show them that their situation can change. They don’t need to be depressed or angry. They need to change what’s happening to them. You don’t have to suffer through your unwanted job. You can change your circumstances. It’s easy if you try.

This is what Barack Obama made us believe in, and it’s what great speakers always make you believe in. They show you the past, but they pull your eyes towards the future. It may be night now, but soon the dawn will come, and it’ll be another beautiful day. Maybe it’ll be a day like no other. Maybe it’ll be the day that changes your life.

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9 routines of successful people

If you are like me, you have probably wondered many times what exactly is that makes successful people…successful, what sort of principles they apply or what secrets they know that help them be the kind of people we admire; or maybe you have simply asked yourself what you can do to develop a richer life, one that would ultimately include your goals and dreams made real. And if you do take some time for research, which I did, you will actually learn that there are indeed some simple routines all those who have made it to the top have implemented into their lives. It’s all about having a game plan and sticking to it because once your understanding of habits and routines goes past automation and obligations, you will tap into a new type of power and freedom able to fuel your motivation and willpower in a spectacular way.

Whatever perspective you set for yourself you may want to integrate some of the routines we are presenting here in its development because we guarantee you that your life will be changed to the better once some of these habits become part of it:

1. Set/review your goals

Goals are divided into short, medium and long. Each of these types, however, when poorly managed or planned is going to affect the others. It is therefore highly recommended that you start your day by reviewing or rewriting your goals so that you reinforce daily both the motivation and the awareness they need in order to grow. Making decision will become much easier and results will start matching your desires sooner.

2.Exercise daily

It goes without saying that working-out has tremendous health benefits. Successful people, however, are also aware of and want to take full advantage of the benefits physical exercises bring in terms of stress level reduction and brain function optimization.

3. Set what matters for you most as top priority

So often we neglect exactly those things we love doing and we dream about; if, for example, dancing is what makes you happy then probably dancing should sit at the top of your daily to-dos because otherwise you will never allow it to become as important to your life as you need it to be. You could incorporate it as part of your morning work-out routine.

4. Develop some principles and stick to them

Developing principles based on your determination to lead a happy, fulfilled life which implies helping and serving others as well, is an extremely powerful and often overlooked tool on your path to manifesting your dreams. They will become deeply connected to your sense of identity and purpose.

5. Work passionately

Most of us don’t respond well to working hard or harder rule, that’s why replacing the notion of “hard” with that of “passion” may be one of the first things we can do to make sure we are putting in the necessary work our success requires. When you employ passion, you employ time and dedication and success is always their fruit.

6. Respect your commitments. Daily

Remember that we are talking about habits and routines so the fact that you kind of apply them or that you apply them periodically does not count as a strategy or as devotement to your goals. Only by pushing yourself every single day to keep yourself motivated and “in the game” counts as staying productive and focused.

7. Get proper sleep

One of the most important aspects when striving for productivity is maintaining mental and physical freshness. That means we should always pay attention to the balance between the energy spent and the energy recovered so we don’t find ourselves speeding up on the highway with an empty tank.

8. Unwind and have fun

Remaining permanently attached to your work and connected to a blatantly buzzing world can take its toll on you drastically. Successful people not only know how to work but they have a pretty good idea on how to relax too. Reserving one day a week for mental and spiritual cleansing where your computer, mobile phone and other such devices become irrelevant is beyond recommendable. Believe me, you will thank yourself for this once you restart work.

9. Cultivate solid relationships

Whether it is our business or our life altogether that we set out to improve, we need to understand how relevant are our relationships to building our way to success. Genuine contact with people can be a huge ramp for your career or business. The first principle you will learn is reciprocity. When trying to reach your goals, you’ll have to pay attention to others’ needs and be ready to help them and you will see how your relationships will be redefined as a turbo engine under your willpower hood.

Order now the Book -> 9 Routines of Successful People: A Guidebook for Personal Change by Jonas Stark

9 Routines of Successful PeopleIn this book, Jonas Stark lays out some of the routines and principles that successful people tend to follow. Sometimes, even people who are successful aren’t able to outline exactly how they got there, but with a sharp and insightful analytical eye, Stark outlines those specifics with aplomb. As it turns out, implementing the routines of success – the things that make success a habit, not a rarity – is not as difficult as you may think.


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5 Must-have People Skills

People skills refer to those skills which allow you to get along well with those around you, to communicate efficiently, and to negotiate and resolve conflicts. While they are essential to those working in sales or marketing, they come in handy regardless of what your job is.

Communication skills, negotiation skills, active listening – these are all crucial people skills, and sometimes they require a great deal of effort to improve. However, there are many other abilities which, if you pay attention to them, can certainly score you some points with your co-workers and management, such as:


Good manners

Greet everyone with a smile, always use ‘please’, and say ‘thank you’ even if someone is just doing their job assisting you. We all have our bad days however and sometimes it might be possible to have a hard time staying calm and keeping on smiling when someone at works annoys you, which is why the next ability is equally important.



Always maintain your calm. Especially in stressful situations, like when you are confronting a disgruntled customer. Maintain a level tone of voice, and try to defuse the situation by inspiring calm and by waiting for the other person to finish what he has to say. It’s times like this when this next ability proves helpful.



Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, it will help you understand what’s making them dissatisfied and how to solve the issue in a way that he will be satisfied with. Take an interest in the people you’re working with and get to know them better – remember small things that usually matter to people, such as names and dates.


Sense of humor

A well-placed joke can make everyone’s day better, especially when you’re battling tight deadlines and stressful projects.



You need to adapt your communication style to the person you’re talking to. More importantly, keep an open mind and don’t judge those you come in contact with. Respect their points of view, and never act like the advice you’re getting is useless.



A ‘people person’ focuses on those around him in everything he does. He not only communicates well and follows his goals assertively; he also makes those around him feel appreciated, understood, and respected through his actions.

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Top 5 Customer Service Skills

Working with people can be strenuous, especially if those people are unhappy customers. This is why possessing customer service skills is starting to represent a requirement for more and more positions which at first glance don’t seem to have a lot to do with customer service.

In this article, we will discuss about five customer service skills, and why they are very important for your activity:


1. Great Communication Skills

Communication skills are vital in any job where you are dealing with people. Knowing how to deliver your message in a way which is clear, intelligible, and has no chance of appearing offensive is key to understanding and solving customer complaints in a way which they are satisfied with. Remember that communicating efficiently means paying attention to four essential dimension: non-verbal message (relaxed body posture, open and friendly gestures), paraverbal message (tone and pace of voice, intonation), verbal message, and active listening (listening without interrupting, showing empathy, giving ample feedback).

2. Calmness

No matter how upset the unhappy customer is, never lose your cool. Stay calm and communicate in an equal tone of voice. Wait patiently, and you will see that your attitude will have a calming effect on him. Stay relaxed, but not too relaxed. Don’t smile or assume an overly relaxed body posture. This will be most likely interpreted as a sign of disrespected.

3. Honesty

Lies or half-truths might earn you a sale, but not a happy and or returning customer. Always be honest with your customers, and you will see they will appreciate you and your work more.

4. Professionalism

When you are working with customers, you represent your entire organization. You need to learn as much as possible about the products or services you are selling to your customers, and always be prepared to provide alternatives to your customers if you see they might use advice.

5. Negotiation skills

Knowing your products and being honest about them is a great way to make your clients interested in buying a product, but you need to back it with negotiation and persuasion skills. Be confident and present them with win-win deals.


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4 secrets of good communication

Good communication is key to all relationships – work, school, play, family, and friends. When you learn how to communicate effectively, you will help yourself in all of these realms. Practicing good communication skills at work will transfer to better communication skills in your home life. It’s a win-win. So what are the secrets to good communication skills? Here are four to start you on your way:

Awareness is key.

With so much information at our fingertips, sometimes it is difficult to stay aware of the information right in front of us. That is, it’s really easy to focus on the virtual world and ignore certain cues in the real world. Staying aware of your real surroundings can be really key in regards to communication. Understanding things, like body language, facial expression, and tone of voice, are key to communicating effectively. Of course, understanding those things and being in tune with them requires an awareness of the real world that is crucial to communication.

Be specific.

When you are communicating, it is crucial that you communicate specifically. However, specificity does not mean that you have to be wordy. All the specificity in the world won’t matter if you are so long-winded that people stop paying attention. In other words, what you really have to do is learn to communicate specifically and concisely.

Be open-minded.

Although, when you communicate, you are trying to communicate your own ideas, communication is a two-way street. In order to really hear what the other person is saying, it is necessary to be open-minded. You need to hear what they are really saying instead of what you want them to be saying. Plus, hearing opposing views can be really helpful, both for challenging your own views and preconceived notions and for forcing you to develop additional arguments to support your views.

Be a listener.

Even if your role in the conversation is to communicate a message and not necessarily to hear a message – like if you’re a boss giving your employee orders – it is still good to play the role of a listener some of the time. It simply isn’t effective to broadcast what you have to say without being prepared for feedback or a dialogue. As a leader, it is also important to make it clear to your subordinates that you will listen – otherwise they might not come to you when they detect that there are problems.

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How to say NO to Others

A lot of us find it difficult to say “no” even to little things that, if we would take a moment to think about, have no importance for us in the near or distant future. As for those of us who get that nasty label – people pleasers, this becomes an even more complicated issue. The question that we should ask ourselves is: aren’t we all underestimating/overlooking the amount of time and energy that we invest into saying “yes” to nearly everything? Shouldn’t we take a moment and reflect on the advantages that are given by a negative answer instead?

Let me share with you something about myself. I consider myself a positive person, concerned with my friends’ wellbeing. I like to give my support where it is needed and when it’s possible and feels right for me to do so. I’m not a people pleaser per se, but my background (meaning my family and my childhood experience) has taught me to be nice to people. I remember that as a teenager, for me, being nice to my friends involved saying “yes” to basically anything they asked of me. For a period of time, when I had nothing to do but kill time, this was no problem. I didn’t take the time to think it over, or consider if what I was doing for and with them didn’t conflict too much with what I wanted to do for myself. If I could help with something, I’d just do it.

In principle, I’m roughly the same person right now, caring, and extremely attached to the people that matter the most in my life, but I’m also changed compared to back then when I wasn’t compelled to think about the importance of (managing) time – an important lesson that was still to be learned. As I grew up and matters of life took more and more of my time – my first job, my girlfriend, my family relying more on me than when I was young – I came to truly feel the heavy weight that was pressing down my shoulders. We call this pressure “responsibilities”. I hated the word. Why should I be responsible, I was thinking to myself? I’m just a teenager with nothing to do but dream about my future. The dreaming time, however, was over for me, and soon I found myself craving desperately for every free hour I could have. A couple of years later I was rethinking my whole “strategy”. Whenever people were asking me whether I could do this or that, I would check with myself if I did have the time and energy to invest in what had been proposed to me and respond accordingly. Some may argue that I’ve become more selfish, but isn’t the whole concept of selfishness a little bit misunderstood?

This is an excerpt from the book “How to Say No”

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New Book: How To Build Trust

If you want to get a new, enriched perspective on how to build lasting relationships and successfully manage your business reading How to Build Trust is definitely a huge step in the right direction.

Trust is the foundation of life – it’s what inspires people to productivity, creativity, compassion and setting up daring goals. A life deprived of trust quickly turns into a life rich in limitations, doubts and failures. Where trust is violated or choked, skepticism and suspicion become the climate setters. And guess what? There are no worse enemies to your mental comfort, motivation and teamwork than these. When skepticism is left to govern inside a relationship, team or organization, it’s like making a hole in your gas tank before hitting the road – it will sabotage the journey, slowing down and eventually halting the development process and create a climate infected by suspicion. Thriving healthily in such a climate is simply not possible.

Order this Book on Amazon.

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7 traits of Alphas: How do you know if you are an alpha?

Not everybody is an alpha and many successful people are not alphas – but so many alphas are successful that we often correlate the two. But just what do we mean when we call somebody an alpha? In biology, an alpha male is the dominant male in a group of pack animals, such as dogs or wolves. In the business world, though, an alpha is a male or female who is able to dominate the work environment. Often, alphas make natural leaders, which is why they do so well in the business world. So just how do you recognize an alpha? How do you know if you’re an alpha? Here are seven common traits to help you identify who in your work life is an alpha:


Confidence is one of the traits most associated with alphas. Alphas use their confidence to excel at work by sharing the ideas without hesitation or self-doubt. They are willing to approach the boss about a raise or promotion instead of timidly waiting for it to come to them. Alphas have self-assurance regarding the assets and are confident enough in themselves to honestly appraise their weaknesses and seek out help when necessary. Alphas may actually have a bad tendency to be cocky, though, so if you know that you’re an alpha, you may want to make sure that you keep yourself in check.


Vanity isn’t always a bad thing – it’s just excessive vanity that’s a problem. Having some amount of vanity is actually a huge plus in the business world because it means that you’ll be paying plenty of attention to your appearance – and in business, appearances are always important. Alphas tend to take care of themselves and their bodies by working out and maintaining a good grooming regimen. As long as it doesn’t develop into excessive vanity, that sort of concern about appearance can be a huge boost to a business career.


Like vanity, pride is one of the seven deadly sins. However, also like vanity, in moderation it isn’t a bad thing. Alphas are able to recognize the value of their successes and celebrate them accordingly. They never have a problem with elevator pitches or confidently introducing themselves to a roomful of strangers – because alphas take pride in and recognize their accomplishments. Even if you’re not an alpha, learning to recognize and take pride in your accomplishments. After all, if you want others to recognize your accomplishments, you need to be able to recognize and identify them as well.


Humility isn’t an obvious alpha trait, but it’s an important one. See, with the pride and confidence, alphas would just irritate everybody if they didn’t have a little humility. When alphas find themselves in leadership positions – as they often do – humility can be key in understanding when you can take care of something yourself and when it is a better use of resources to get some help. Humility is also really important for maintaining motivation and a willingness to push oneself to the max. If you think that you’ve got it all and that you’re so good there’s nothing else that you need to do, you won’t continue to push yourself to achieve more – and achieving more is what alphas are all about.


Alphas take risks in order to succeed. Taking risks, of course, takes courage. But alphas are willing to take necessary risk to get ahead. Of course, even if you’re an alpha, you’ll find that sometimes you’re just not in a position to take a risk – and there is an important difference between taking a risk and taking a stupid risk. Successful alphas don’t take stupid risks – and you shouldn’t either.


Part of the way alphas get ahead is through dedication and elbow grease. Just because they are alphas doesn’t mean that they have everything handed to them without trying. They have to work hard, too, but it’s in their nature as alphas to do just that. Simply working hard won’t make you an alpha, but it is one important alpha trait that goes a long way toward explaining their penchant for success.


Winners never quit – and neither do alphas. Although they tend to lead successful business careers, like anybody else they don’t get there without some failures along the way. However, when they encounter failure, alphas are undeterred; they keep on keeping on until they succeed.

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